"What do we want?"
"Braaaaaaaains!"
"No, guys. We're want equal rights for zombies. Let's try this again. What do we want?"
"Braaaaaaaains!"
*sigh*
http://www.thinkgeek.com/tshirts/generic/ae5e/
5 weeks ago
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Friday, September 26, 2008
Imperfect Perfection
Imperfect Rose by *Finire on deviantART
A while ago I had posted this picture, and then forgot about it. Recently I have been thinking about the rose though. Sadly, now the season for that rose has passed, and it is no longer. But the picture that I had taken preserved the sight, and feelings that this rose brings inside of me.
Imperfect Perfection.
At first I had simply seen this rose as a flower, beautiful, but marred. Contemplation on this rose though, has shown me that I need to think past where I have before. The flower has its damages, holes, and blemishes. But I look at it, and know that I have the same things in my life. Writing this now some of my faults come to mind, but to save this for going on 10 pages, I won't list them.
I have come to the decision though, that I need to start accepting people for who they are, there imperfect selves. On top of all of that, I need to come to accept myself more as who I am, with my faults. I know I must continue to strive to become a better person each day, but while I'm at it, I need to let myself accept me for who I am.
Now, Speaking of life changes, I ask that each of you who read this keep me in mind over the next several weeks as I will be hoping to hear back from a job. I have recieved the full support of my amazing boss for this new job, now I just need to convince the people that do the hiring that I am the best for the job.
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Do you...
For a while now I have been absent from posting anything in my blog. Originally I had planned my next post to be a collaboration of the poetry I have written over the years. Recently I decided not to do this as the mix of emotion in one post, and the remembrance of some old feelings was not what I desired. So now again my twisted pattern of thought brought me to yet another topic. This somewhat relates to what I have been posting recently.
"Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help you god."
Such a simple question, such a simple answer. The normal and accepted response to this question is "I do". But now I sit here and wonder, people have been sent to the electric chair, lethal injection, and the gas chamber for what people have said while under this oath. I wonder exactly what this is supposed to mean. Why is it that in a world of religious freedom and supposed separation of church and state, that we have people swear there testimonies under a specific belief.
Were I to take the oath in front of a court, my word in question, what would I respond? A quick search on the web showed that this itself may be a hot topic. Out of the first 30 results that showed up I found most of them were about what "heathens and atheists" would do if asked this question. In a way I guess I should have expected this, but I do not consider myself a heathen, and I know that I am not an atheist. I do have my own beliefs. But my search did turn up more than just a found hatred of those with different beliefs.
Those that do not believe in that certain god, can affirm to the truth.
"You do affirm that all the testimony you are about to give in the case now before the Court will be the truth, and nothing but the truth; this you do affirm under the pains and penalties of perjury?"
Again the common answer would be "I do". While I am glad to see that an alternate has been made, I am sad at the same time to see that it has not been made the standard. Even after this affirmation is decided upon, the judge apparently has to warn the jury and those viewing the case that this affirmation is legal and valid. One day I imagine that we will live in a world where religious freedom is a whole truth, but I know that day is not today. I know that the concept is there, I watch sci-fi. Most shows that talk about the future, about the human race as a whole cooperating, do not mention religion at all.
Another rant, another day. Sometimes I may get slightly carried away. As for how I am doing myself, I guess that I just need to get up and out a little more. Thank you Willow, I know you haven't heard from me, I promise an email soon.
Sunday, July 13, 2008
Accident
So it's not every morning that I get as suprised as I was this morning... Most people that know me, know that I have to work one weekend a month ontop of my usual work schedule. This was that weekend.
The usual happened at home, My alarm went off... I hit the snooze button 3 or 4 times before deciding that I really did have to get up. I dragged myself slowly out of bed, and made my way to the shower for my morning routine. The water woke me, and brought me out of my trance that I had so earned from staying up so late the night before. I was now officially awake.
I pulled on my uniform, happy that this early I didn't have to pick out clothes, and got ready to leave for work. Looking at the clock I could see that I was already a couple of minutes behind where I wanted to be, but that wasn't any worry. I had planned the night before to be running behind in the morning, So I guess I actually planned to be on time. I grabbed my GPS off of my desk, because I don't drive anywhere over 10 minutes away without it as I would be without my current book. One that I was just starting to listen to this morning. "The Pillars of the Earth" by Ken Follett. Now that I'm settled in my car, it is time to begin my usual 45 minute ride to work.
So I start the introduction to the book, driving the route that I really do drive almost every day, when I get suprised. If I wasn't awake before, I was now. A deer, I'm not too sure if it was a buck or doe, jumped out of the woods as I passed, and into my car. Specifically it jumped into the front passengers corner of my car. I was going about 35 Mph when I hit it, and by the damage done to my car when I pulled over, I didn't see how that deer would have lived through the matter. And secretly... I had hoped it didn't.
I know it's sinister of me to hope that it didn't live through it, but looking back on it an hour later as I write this, it would be better for the deer if it had died on the spot. It will die now, but unfortunatly somewhere far into the woods from internal bleeding. Apart from the deer's fate, was mine. Now I'm sitting here with a car that has an impressive amount of damage done to it from a simple animal. I just finished filing a claim with the insurrance company online, and am now waiting to hear from them. I think I'm taking off work today, and probably tommorow while I get the car looked at by a claim agent...
The usual happened at home, My alarm went off... I hit the snooze button 3 or 4 times before deciding that I really did have to get up. I dragged myself slowly out of bed, and made my way to the shower for my morning routine. The water woke me, and brought me out of my trance that I had so earned from staying up so late the night before. I was now officially awake.
I pulled on my uniform, happy that this early I didn't have to pick out clothes, and got ready to leave for work. Looking at the clock I could see that I was already a couple of minutes behind where I wanted to be, but that wasn't any worry. I had planned the night before to be running behind in the morning, So I guess I actually planned to be on time. I grabbed my GPS off of my desk, because I don't drive anywhere over 10 minutes away without it as I would be without my current book. One that I was just starting to listen to this morning. "The Pillars of the Earth" by Ken Follett. Now that I'm settled in my car, it is time to begin my usual 45 minute ride to work.
So I start the introduction to the book, driving the route that I really do drive almost every day, when I get suprised. If I wasn't awake before, I was now. A deer, I'm not too sure if it was a buck or doe, jumped out of the woods as I passed, and into my car. Specifically it jumped into the front passengers corner of my car. I was going about 35 Mph when I hit it, and by the damage done to my car when I pulled over, I didn't see how that deer would have lived through the matter. And secretly... I had hoped it didn't.
I know it's sinister of me to hope that it didn't live through it, but looking back on it an hour later as I write this, it would be better for the deer if it had died on the spot. It will die now, but unfortunatly somewhere far into the woods from internal bleeding. Apart from the deer's fate, was mine. Now I'm sitting here with a car that has an impressive amount of damage done to it from a simple animal. I just finished filing a claim with the insurrance company online, and am now waiting to hear from them. I think I'm taking off work today, and probably tommorow while I get the car looked at by a claim agent...
Friday, July 11, 2008
Suprised
So I wake up this morning, and check my comments to my blog. I had planned on posting when I got to work, only to find that they had finally put a filter on our network. It's one that I will get around on Monday, but it did throw me off a bit.
The surprised part is when I realised that I had more readers than I had thought. I don't mind, and in short response to the comment. I read, a lot. I have more books on my shelf that I have read through so far, than most people have read in a lifetime. It's a curse of mine, I love reading... My love for reading all started when I first had a love for learning.
I remember the days when I was a little boy hiding in my room. I wouldn't sleep because I was in the middle of a book that had fascinated me. Most kids that time wouldn't sleep because they had a game they were playing with, or something of the sort. I lost myself in books. I lived in worlds that were not mine, but they became mine. Everyone there knew me, to the extent the stories allowed at least. To this day I still find myself getting lost in books. Lately it's been the "Incarnations of Immortality" series. I'm on the sixth and final book right now. My only disappointment is that after I finish, I have to find another series to read.
So I've been kinda all over the place with this post, but that's just the state my mind is in right now...
The surprised part is when I realised that I had more readers than I had thought. I don't mind, and in short response to the comment. I read, a lot. I have more books on my shelf that I have read through so far, than most people have read in a lifetime. It's a curse of mine, I love reading... My love for reading all started when I first had a love for learning.
I remember the days when I was a little boy hiding in my room. I wouldn't sleep because I was in the middle of a book that had fascinated me. Most kids that time wouldn't sleep because they had a game they were playing with, or something of the sort. I lost myself in books. I lived in worlds that were not mine, but they became mine. Everyone there knew me, to the extent the stories allowed at least. To this day I still find myself getting lost in books. Lately it's been the "Incarnations of Immortality" series. I'm on the sixth and final book right now. My only disappointment is that after I finish, I have to find another series to read.
So I've been kinda all over the place with this post, but that's just the state my mind is in right now...
Thursday, July 10, 2008
Contrasts of life
It's not often that I get to stand beside myself, today I decided it was time to do so. Anyone that has bothered to spend the time sorting through my pages of blog entries know several things about me. You know who I am...
I stand myself side by side, my life streams intermingle.
The cloak is amazingly comfortable...
I might even go as far to say that I look dashingly amazing...
Monday, July 7, 2008
The long wait...
For those readers of my blog, I appoligize for not posting recently. With the return from my trips, I have become slightly lazy... With the weekend of July 4th, I have become extremely lazy... And then of course, I broke my computer...
***Warning***
***Geek Alert***
***Pictures non-related may be found at the bottom of this post***
A so called upgrade... I installed lots of extra RAM into my computer in order to try something, which I probably should have tested well before I put it into practice. As for those of you who pay attention, I have been playing with Microsoft Virtual PC. With the release of Windows Server 2008 and the final release of Hyper-V (Microsofts server virtualization tool) I thought that I would go that route, being server 2008 should be able to manage memory more efficiantly. I was correct in that, and to be honest, Hyper-V worked like a charm, and did exactly what it was supposed to... Virtualize machines that were able to inter-network and run servers.
That however is where the usefulness of it had stopped. I do alot of work on my computers, and that has become my primary use on them. But I will probably never give up this little habbit I have for gaming. Windows Server 2008 supports alot, but it still remains a server. Not meant for graphics. So while I had installed Server 08 on my machine, I had figured that like Virtual PC I would be able to virtualize machines capable of decent graphics. I was horribly wrong. Hyper-V has just about no graphics considerations made for the purpose of anything near gaming. The best it could give me? Virtualized machines that would only run on a 4:3 screen, not a 16:9 screen and capable of a maximum 16 bit color. Ontop of that it did not utilize my graphics card, but a software based graphics processor... Completely nullifying my prized GeForce 8800 graphics card.
So with this problem sitting in my lap, I had to come up with a solution. It was simple, but it meant putting Vista back onto my computer. Don't get me wrong, I have no hatred towards Vista... It works very well for me. But I had upgraded my computer to 8 GBs of DDRII PC 8500 RAM (1066Mhz). Previously I only had a 32 bit version of Vista installed. Thankfully I had the forsight to create a disk with the 64 Bit version on it before my first format. With disk in hand, I formatted my system again. I'll be the first to say, over the years Microsoft has made the install process easier and easier. Almost pain free... But no matter how pain free something is, you don't want to have to do it several times in one day. This was the 3rd operating systems that I was setting up that day. It installed like the champ it was, then I was again found lazy in taking forever to do the simple things... Import favorites.. etc.
So with all that said, here are the promised pictures...
Such a beautiful red rose...
Aww... Look, it's a busy bee...
So Vibrant in color...
Aww... I think he know's I'm there...
And that's it for today... More may come tommorow...
***Warning***
***Geek Alert***
***Pictures non-related may be found at the bottom of this post***
A so called upgrade... I installed lots of extra RAM into my computer in order to try something, which I probably should have tested well before I put it into practice. As for those of you who pay attention, I have been playing with Microsoft Virtual PC. With the release of Windows Server 2008 and the final release of Hyper-V (Microsofts server virtualization tool) I thought that I would go that route, being server 2008 should be able to manage memory more efficiantly. I was correct in that, and to be honest, Hyper-V worked like a charm, and did exactly what it was supposed to... Virtualize machines that were able to inter-network and run servers.
That however is where the usefulness of it had stopped. I do alot of work on my computers, and that has become my primary use on them. But I will probably never give up this little habbit I have for gaming. Windows Server 2008 supports alot, but it still remains a server. Not meant for graphics. So while I had installed Server 08 on my machine, I had figured that like Virtual PC I would be able to virtualize machines capable of decent graphics. I was horribly wrong. Hyper-V has just about no graphics considerations made for the purpose of anything near gaming. The best it could give me? Virtualized machines that would only run on a 4:3 screen, not a 16:9 screen and capable of a maximum 16 bit color. Ontop of that it did not utilize my graphics card, but a software based graphics processor... Completely nullifying my prized GeForce 8800 graphics card.
"Instincts are rarely pure instinct - they're the distillation of knowledge and experience over many years into finely tuned behaviour."
So with this problem sitting in my lap, I had to come up with a solution. It was simple, but it meant putting Vista back onto my computer. Don't get me wrong, I have no hatred towards Vista... It works very well for me. But I had upgraded my computer to 8 GBs of DDRII PC 8500 RAM (1066Mhz). Previously I only had a 32 bit version of Vista installed. Thankfully I had the forsight to create a disk with the 64 Bit version on it before my first format. With disk in hand, I formatted my system again. I'll be the first to say, over the years Microsoft has made the install process easier and easier. Almost pain free... But no matter how pain free something is, you don't want to have to do it several times in one day. This was the 3rd operating systems that I was setting up that day. It installed like the champ it was, then I was again found lazy in taking forever to do the simple things... Import favorites.. etc.
So with all that said, here are the promised pictures...
Such a beautiful red rose...
Aww... Look, it's a busy bee...
So Vibrant in color...
Aww... I think he know's I'm there...
And that's it for today... More may come tommorow...
Sunday, June 29, 2008
A fun 4th planned.
So I decided to go shopping the other day. It's been several years since I have had any fun on the 4th of July. So I picked up a couple of fireworks for this year....
Just a couple...
Monday, June 23, 2008
You will be remembered...
The passing of a friend, a loved one, or even a celebrity that you had respect for... Is never a good thing. Last night I lost an old family friend, and a revered comic. Two seperate people, the same night... You will both be remembered.
John, You were a guiding light as I grew up. You helped teach me the sides of right and wrong, the laughter that can be seen in the world.
George Carlin, I may have never knew you personally, but your words brought smiles to my face and opened my mind to think outside of the box.
It is a hard time to accept when the time of a friend has come, but let us all remember the marks that they left while they were here. Remember the impact they had on your life as you grew...
Rest In Peace George, Your Conviction Will Live On.
*Please note, this video should not be viewed at work or around those sensitive to harsh language.
John, You were a guiding light as I grew up. You helped teach me the sides of right and wrong, the laughter that can be seen in the world.
George Carlin, I may have never knew you personally, but your words brought smiles to my face and opened my mind to think outside of the box.
It is a hard time to accept when the time of a friend has come, but let us all remember the marks that they left while they were here. Remember the impact they had on your life as you grew...
Rest In Peace George, Your Conviction Will Live On.
*Please note, this video should not be viewed at work or around those sensitive to harsh language.
Saturday, June 21, 2008
Fort Montgomery
So today, first official day of summer, seemed like a good day to go for a walk. I drive to west point frequently for shopping trips and the such, and I always pass by the historic site of Fort Montgomery. All those times I meant to stop by and take a look around, today this trip was specifically for the purpose of stopping here.
So hiking I was going... And needless to say, I didn't stay the path.
What you don't see here, is the ledge that sits right behind the tree that I'm leaning on.
After I came out of the woods, the barracks were waiting. Though it might have been hard to lay for a nap in the now run down structures.
Out of the woods did I say? Well there was another path that I just had to take... Which lead down to a footbridge.
Ok.. So I didn't take a picture of the bridge, but I was greeted by this magnificent creature.
Only for a brief visit...
In all, it was a good day. It turned out to be a bit hot, but it was bearable.
So hiking I was going... And needless to say, I didn't stay the path.
What you don't see here, is the ledge that sits right behind the tree that I'm leaning on.
After I came out of the woods, the barracks were waiting. Though it might have been hard to lay for a nap in the now run down structures.
Out of the woods did I say? Well there was another path that I just had to take... Which lead down to a footbridge.
Ok.. So I didn't take a picture of the bridge, but I was greeted by this magnificent creature.
Only for a brief visit...
In all, it was a good day. It turned out to be a bit hot, but it was bearable.
Friday, June 20, 2008
Friendship
Over the years I have had people come in and out of my life... Some of these people have been closer than others, friends... Several weeks ago when I was in Germany I made one friend that has become very close to me. This morning, very early, when I got back from camp... There was a present waiting for me.
At first when I saw the package sitting there, I was trying to remember what I had ordered before I left. But then as I opened the box, I noticed that it was from someone else... 
It's a Quaich, or as was explained to me by the included paper, a "Cup of Welcome". I love it... Recieving this cup though, has made me think about other friendships I have had over the years. Some of them I still maintain over the years. I wanted to take this moment to say, I appreciate you.. I appreciate all of you. Friends are something we should all hold close to us, something that I have come to value more and more as I realise what exactly a friend is.
So to all of you who have put up with me... I thank you for your patience, your ear, and your friendship. The times we have had in the past are treasured memories, and more memories we shall make in the future.
Accident...
Uneventful.... Or that's how most of camp was. Until of course the convoy home. It was a standard convoy, with a group of people who should never be allowed on the road again. A little over halfway home we came along construction on I-87, right along mile marker 107. I know the location so well because that is where I slowed down for traffic, and the truck behind me didn't.
I figure that I was down to about 10 mph, and the truck behind me? Lets just say he was going about 60. Didn't even bother to slow down. My only saving grace was that we were in military vehicles. Barely any damage to the vehicles themselves, but the people inside of mine (the smaller vehicle) were thrown hard. It hurt...
So the people in the vehicle, including myself, didn't feel like sitting in a hospital up north for the night, and continued our drive home. Upon finally arriving at home, we took a trip to the hospital... And stayed there for most of the night. At about 1 a.m. we were released... I got home, and passed out. The drugs may just have helped.
I figure that I was down to about 10 mph, and the truck behind me? Lets just say he was going about 60. Didn't even bother to slow down. My only saving grace was that we were in military vehicles. Barely any damage to the vehicles themselves, but the people inside of mine (the smaller vehicle) were thrown hard. It hurt...
So the people in the vehicle, including myself, didn't feel like sitting in a hospital up north for the night, and continued our drive home. Upon finally arriving at home, we took a trip to the hospital... And stayed there for most of the night. At about 1 a.m. we were released... I got home, and passed out. The drugs may just have helped.
Monday, June 16, 2008
Compelled...
Anyone who isn't willing to accept me for who I am or what I believe in, should stop reading here.
It was a dark and stormy night.. Alone I sat in my room..
More to the point, alone I was in my room watching a movie. I had just started it, and I do have to say it looked like it might be interesting. The name of the movie? It is of no importance to this story... This story continues about what happened while I was laying to watch the movie....
Alone I lay in my room, a movie on the screen. My attention quickly drifted from my monitor to the window as I saw the brief flash of lighting on my surroundings. I saw it. At that moment the feelings inside of me had taken control. It was raining... My first instinct is to avoid the rain and stay dry. But this time something was different. I don't know how to explain it, but I was pulled outside. Before I left the door I pulled a smudge stick out of my box and slid it along with a box of matches into my robe pocket. Somehow I just knew I would be needing it, but still to this moment I was unsure of why.
I briefly surveyed what I had to put on my feet. This is a strange place I'm in, and I wouldn't trust my feet to this ground. I saw my pair of sandals, and slipped those on. I walked out of my room and to the door. Standing at the door I looked outside. Rain, accented by the flashes of lightning and the crackling sound of thunder... Outside... Me... Why would I want to walk out into the rain where I knew that I would proceed to get soaked without hesitation from the skies that were opening up. Even though I'm the type of person that usually darts from building to building to keep dry, this time I stepped out into the night... I felt it immediately. The rain washing over my robe, over my body... I knew tonight was different. I looked to my hand to realise that I had also grabbed a hematite from my box, and was still holding it. The almost metallic rock was cool against my hand.
I haven't walked around the camp area much at all, but I knew we were surrounded by buildings and roads. Unsure of where my destination was I started walking out. Shortly I came to a field that I hadn't noticed before. Not a big field mind you, just a small one.. Maybe 50 meters square, littered with several large trees. I stopped almost dead center, turned a circle, and felt the rain wash over me.... I knew this was where I was drawn to. I started to get the feeling of why...
Over the past several weeks, probably longer I know that I have been harboring negative emotions. Not specifically towards any one person, but I know they have been inside of me. This was starting to take its own toll on my body. I was sore, strained, and stressed. Tonight suddenly I knew that would end. That's why I was here.
After brief meditation I reached into my pocket where I had secured the sage. I lit the smudge stick from the cover of the rain, which had lightened just enough for me to do so. With the smoking sage in one hand, and my hematite in the other, I let the smoke wash over me. Combined with the rain, my mindset, and the energies of all that surrounded me... I let go. Like a mass exodus from my body, I felt the stress and tension drain. My neck, which had been constantly bothering me, started to loosen. My mind which had been in a constant scramble unsure of which way was up... Regained it's direction... I was becoming me again. The sage had been burning now for a while, and was smoking to it's almost end. Held in my hand I knew it would get very uncomfortable soon. I pushed the last string that bound it together off and spread the remainder of it back to the earth. My time here tonight was coming to an end, just like the rain was.
I had a slow walk back, after taking a minute to orientate myself of where I had come from. Wet from head to toe I returned back to my room. My robe I loosed and hung from the bed, my sandals I left by the side of the carpet that I had place along my bed. Tonight I knew I would sleep well... I would sleep at peace. I lied down again, this time turning off the power to the movie first. I knew that I wouldn't be needing to listen to anything but myself as I slept tonight.
My eyes closed...
My thoughts returned to the field I was in not that long ago...
The day was over, the night had taken me...
It was a dark and stormy night.. Alone I sat in my room..
More to the point, alone I was in my room watching a movie. I had just started it, and I do have to say it looked like it might be interesting. The name of the movie? It is of no importance to this story... This story continues about what happened while I was laying to watch the movie....
Alone I lay in my room, a movie on the screen. My attention quickly drifted from my monitor to the window as I saw the brief flash of lighting on my surroundings. I saw it. At that moment the feelings inside of me had taken control. It was raining... My first instinct is to avoid the rain and stay dry. But this time something was different. I don't know how to explain it, but I was pulled outside. Before I left the door I pulled a smudge stick out of my box and slid it along with a box of matches into my robe pocket. Somehow I just knew I would be needing it, but still to this moment I was unsure of why.
I briefly surveyed what I had to put on my feet. This is a strange place I'm in, and I wouldn't trust my feet to this ground. I saw my pair of sandals, and slipped those on. I walked out of my room and to the door. Standing at the door I looked outside. Rain, accented by the flashes of lightning and the crackling sound of thunder... Outside... Me... Why would I want to walk out into the rain where I knew that I would proceed to get soaked without hesitation from the skies that were opening up. Even though I'm the type of person that usually darts from building to building to keep dry, this time I stepped out into the night... I felt it immediately. The rain washing over my robe, over my body... I knew tonight was different. I looked to my hand to realise that I had also grabbed a hematite from my box, and was still holding it. The almost metallic rock was cool against my hand.
I haven't walked around the camp area much at all, but I knew we were surrounded by buildings and roads. Unsure of where my destination was I started walking out. Shortly I came to a field that I hadn't noticed before. Not a big field mind you, just a small one.. Maybe 50 meters square, littered with several large trees. I stopped almost dead center, turned a circle, and felt the rain wash over me.... I knew this was where I was drawn to. I started to get the feeling of why...
Over the past several weeks, probably longer I know that I have been harboring negative emotions. Not specifically towards any one person, but I know they have been inside of me. This was starting to take its own toll on my body. I was sore, strained, and stressed. Tonight suddenly I knew that would end. That's why I was here.
After brief meditation I reached into my pocket where I had secured the sage. I lit the smudge stick from the cover of the rain, which had lightened just enough for me to do so. With the smoking sage in one hand, and my hematite in the other, I let the smoke wash over me. Combined with the rain, my mindset, and the energies of all that surrounded me... I let go. Like a mass exodus from my body, I felt the stress and tension drain. My neck, which had been constantly bothering me, started to loosen. My mind which had been in a constant scramble unsure of which way was up... Regained it's direction... I was becoming me again. The sage had been burning now for a while, and was smoking to it's almost end. Held in my hand I knew it would get very uncomfortable soon. I pushed the last string that bound it together off and spread the remainder of it back to the earth. My time here tonight was coming to an end, just like the rain was.
I had a slow walk back, after taking a minute to orientate myself of where I had come from. Wet from head to toe I returned back to my room. My robe I loosed and hung from the bed, my sandals I left by the side of the carpet that I had place along my bed. Tonight I knew I would sleep well... I would sleep at peace. I lied down again, this time turning off the power to the movie first. I knew that I wouldn't be needing to listen to anything but myself as I slept tonight.
My eyes closed...
My thoughts returned to the field I was in not that long ago...
The day was over, the night had taken me...
Thursday, May 8, 2008
Looking back
So I'm looking back on several nights ago, thinking about that card I had found in my pocket when I woke up. There was a website on that card, and yes... It was in German. But I do understand enough to navigate it and find what I was afraid might be there. I was talking about what happened with a bucket of ice, but now I don't need to leave it stricktly up to the imagination....
Left without a shirt, they made it up to me...
Left without a shirt, they made it up to me...
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
The one day off
Ok, so "mandatory fun" wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I actually had a nice time walking around the city, and it brought back memories from the time 2 years ago that I had walked the same streets so far from home.
The castle from far below, and because I wanted to explore more of the town this time instead of the castle, this is the only shot you'll be seeing of it. Though I'm kinda glad I didn't walk all the way up to it, as the part of my group that did said most of it was closed off for a wedding.
The birds let you get closer here then they do in NYC...
Not just to one god, but to three.
I wish I saw this every morning when I looked out my window.
Seeing as I've been loosing my mind recently... and especially today... This is all I'll be posting for the day...
Monday, May 5, 2008
Out on the town
So I went out shopping with several of our German hosts just after lunch today. It was a change to see the lighter side of Germany, mainly speaking of Baumholder. We didn't do much in town, but we did take a small rest break and got some "ices".
Eis Cafe, Icecream shop to do the most basic and widely understood translation. I had a Coke lite, and a Zitroneneis. Or, as I would commonly say... A diet Coke and a lemon ice.
It was a nice change in pace to sit back and relax, though I could only understand a portion of the conversation my companions were having. They did there best to translate what they could for me. All said, I'm having a good time here. I just hope that I will get to spend some more time on the town before I leave. Tommorow I should be able to get some decent pictures as it is "Mandatory fun" day. A guided tour of some castle or whatever... We'll see how that turns out and I'm sure I'll post up some more pictures after we're done there... Maybe I'll even get some souvenier shopping done, though I think I'll have some of the Germans we're here with take me to some of the lesser known places so I don't pay tourist prices.
Eis Cafe, Icecream shop to do the most basic and widely understood translation. I had a Coke lite, and a Zitroneneis. Or, as I would commonly say... A diet Coke and a lemon ice.
It was a nice change in pace to sit back and relax, though I could only understand a portion of the conversation my companions were having. They did there best to translate what they could for me. All said, I'm having a good time here. I just hope that I will get to spend some more time on the town before I leave. Tommorow I should be able to get some decent pictures as it is "Mandatory fun" day. A guided tour of some castle or whatever... We'll see how that turns out and I'm sure I'll post up some more pictures after we're done there... Maybe I'll even get some souvenier shopping done, though I think I'll have some of the Germans we're here with take me to some of the lesser known places so I don't pay tourist prices.
As promised
And if my parents are reading this, it might be a good time to look away...
I said yesterday that I would post pictures of the events that made me a little sick yesterday. I got those off a one of my LTs picture phone. Not the best pictures, but that's probably a good thing.
Needless to say, the blindfold came after the half of bottle of Vodka that they poured down my throat after dancing on the bar with them...
And yes... that is her unzipping my pants, while I'm blindfolded and quite drunk... only to seconds later recieve a bucket of ice from what had to be behind the bar, and pour it down my boxers. I was cold... very very cold... I'm almost afraid to see if anyone else has better pictures...
From what people were telling me, I was quite a good dancer after this. But in all honesty, I have to take there word on it. I know I had a good time though, even if I had to pay for it the next day.
I said yesterday that I would post pictures of the events that made me a little sick yesterday. I got those off a one of my LTs picture phone. Not the best pictures, but that's probably a good thing.
Needless to say, the blindfold came after the half of bottle of Vodka that they poured down my throat after dancing on the bar with them...
And yes... that is her unzipping my pants, while I'm blindfolded and quite drunk... only to seconds later recieve a bucket of ice from what had to be behind the bar, and pour it down my boxers. I was cold... very very cold... I'm almost afraid to see if anyone else has better pictures...
From what people were telling me, I was quite a good dancer after this. But in all honesty, I have to take there word on it. I know I had a good time though, even if I had to pay for it the next day.
Saturday, May 3, 2008
So maybe more then one
Ok... so today was a very busy day... And I decided maybe I would push up more then one picture today..
Now remember... Safety First...
One of the first antennas to catch my eye, not that big, but it looks neat.
Though I think this one is far more impressive...
Talk about a low shot... almost looks like it's hitting the wall.
I wish I could sit around all day like that...
This was kinda stuck out in the middle of nowhere...
I just think that truck looks cool...
Last but definatly not least... far up the offbeat path...
Just a little something from my trip, thought you all might enjoy.
Friday, May 2, 2008
One a day
Ok, so I've decided to try and have atleast one picture up on my blog per day. Now... I doubt this is going to happen, but I will do my best to try. I was wandering around the site today, the mission you can see at http://www.combinedendeavor.net/ if you want a basic idea of what we're doing here.
Nothing too exciting happened today, but while I was walking around I did get to see one of the countries loose power and scramble to try and get there systems back online.
More tommorow...
Nothing too exciting happened today, but while I was walking around I did get to see one of the countries loose power and scramble to try and get there systems back online.
More tommorow...
Thursday, May 1, 2008
Here and living
Well I made it to Germany. I think I forgot just how much I liked this country. As we were driving from the airport to the post, I saw something beautiful that I just had to share. So for those of you who actually read my blog...
Not too many stories for now, last night though I remember passing out at about 7pm local time... After being up since the previous morning, it was very difficult to stay up even that late.
Monday, April 28, 2008
My usual self..
So it's mere hours (or less) before I should be passing out for bed so I can wake up in the morning to leave for the airport, which will then take me to Germany. And of course, what do I find myself doing in the last remaining minutes? Laundry, packing, sorting, packing, preparing...
It figures that with all the changes I've made over the years, the one habbit I have a hard time breaking is packing before I'm actually supposed to be leaving. So I'm making the list mentally... Clothes, uniforms, boots, suit, shoes, sneakers, laptop, Altar things, essentials (you know... the things you don't leave the bathroom after your shower without using), camera, GPS, memory cards, cd/dvds with all of the install I might need while there... And I just know that I'm forgetting something. I know of course that I will remember this something the moment the door on the plane shuts, and it will probably be critical. As it is now, I have to stop by work on the way to the airport to pick up those few things that I forgot there.
I'm sure I'll be bringing back plenty of pictures, maybe a couple of videos, and I know some excellent stories. As I said before, I'll try to do my best to keep up my posts here. Maybe I'll put up some pictures... We'll see how this goes. Now... it's time to finish packing...
Blessed Be all
It figures that with all the changes I've made over the years, the one habbit I have a hard time breaking is packing before I'm actually supposed to be leaving. So I'm making the list mentally... Clothes, uniforms, boots, suit, shoes, sneakers, laptop, Altar things, essentials (you know... the things you don't leave the bathroom after your shower without using), camera, GPS, memory cards, cd/dvds with all of the install I might need while there... And I just know that I'm forgetting something. I know of course that I will remember this something the moment the door on the plane shuts, and it will probably be critical. As it is now, I have to stop by work on the way to the airport to pick up those few things that I forgot there.
I'm sure I'll be bringing back plenty of pictures, maybe a couple of videos, and I know some excellent stories. As I said before, I'll try to do my best to keep up my posts here. Maybe I'll put up some pictures... We'll see how this goes. Now... it's time to finish packing...
Blessed Be all
Saturday, April 26, 2008
Lost with me
I wander around these empty halls of my mind and see only memories lost with me. The life I've lead, the turns I've taken... I notice all I come with is memories of me. Several of you along the way have shared with me what I seem to be, unknown to what is being along. Lost in thought I wonder why all I have with me is memories of what used to be.
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Ok... So I'll be honest. I sat down at the computer completely unsure of what I was going to write. I stared at this blank page, and started typing at the time what seemed almost like completely random words. And what you see above is the result of my random mind.
I am glad of all those people that have been along for the ride of what seems to be my life, but also at the same time I wish several of the people that are part of my memories would be part of my future. Looking to the future now I have started to realise that I no longer want just meaningless friendships, single serving I believe was the term used in the famed movie of Fight Club... but then again I shouldn't be talking about that I guess....
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ok... So I'll be honest. I sat down at the computer completely unsure of what I was going to write. I stared at this blank page, and started typing at the time what seemed almost like completely random words. And what you see above is the result of my random mind.
I am glad of all those people that have been along for the ride of what seems to be my life, but also at the same time I wish several of the people that are part of my memories would be part of my future. Looking to the future now I have started to realise that I no longer want just meaningless friendships, single serving I believe was the term used in the famed movie of Fight Club... but then again I shouldn't be talking about that I guess....
Friday, April 4, 2008
An interesting night
So, I posted last night about how happy I was to have a connection back in my room. I admit, I wasn't in the best mood when I did so, but I was in a better mood then I was about to be.
I decided that I had enough of busy work, so I jumped on my messangers and threw in a movie on the TV. Everything was great, I was relaxed. Then I heard the storm rolling in... I love storms... This one was huge. Each strike hitting that I heard only raised my awareness of how large this one was... and I loved it. My smile grew larger as the storm went on... Until that strike.
One large boom... That's all it was. And then.. nothing, no power, no light. Trapped. Alone in my room. Thankfully I remember very well where I put everything, so I went to my bag, and grabbed my flashlight from it. Went to the hallway, and made sure that everyone else was alright. It turned out that I wasn't having the worst of nights, or atleast not as bad as the person trapped in the elevator. So I took the stairs down to the lobby and found the OIC, CPT Davis. The short search for the emergency release key for the elevators began. Back when I worked in the hospital I had taken time to learn the basics that are needed to pry open a locked door. So from floor to floor we went trying to find which elevator someone was actually in. After opening the doors on several floors we found that we missed the service elevator on the first floor. So we went back down, I popped the door, and let the somewhat shaken person out of the elevator.
Now with knowing everyone was safe, I went back to the hallways and talked with several people. Just had a good time enjoying other peoples companies while I couldn't do anything else. Shortly there after, almost midnight now, I decided it was time to retire to my room. So I curled up in bed with my flashlight and a book, started reading, and passed out somewhere in the middle of a sentance...
I decided that I had enough of busy work, so I jumped on my messangers and threw in a movie on the TV. Everything was great, I was relaxed. Then I heard the storm rolling in... I love storms... This one was huge. Each strike hitting that I heard only raised my awareness of how large this one was... and I loved it. My smile grew larger as the storm went on... Until that strike.
One large boom... That's all it was. And then.. nothing, no power, no light. Trapped. Alone in my room. Thankfully I remember very well where I put everything, so I went to my bag, and grabbed my flashlight from it. Went to the hallway, and made sure that everyone else was alright. It turned out that I wasn't having the worst of nights, or atleast not as bad as the person trapped in the elevator. So I took the stairs down to the lobby and found the OIC, CPT Davis. The short search for the emergency release key for the elevators began. Back when I worked in the hospital I had taken time to learn the basics that are needed to pry open a locked door. So from floor to floor we went trying to find which elevator someone was actually in. After opening the doors on several floors we found that we missed the service elevator on the first floor. So we went back down, I popped the door, and let the somewhat shaken person out of the elevator.
Now with knowing everyone was safe, I went back to the hallways and talked with several people. Just had a good time enjoying other peoples companies while I couldn't do anything else. Shortly there after, almost midnight now, I decided it was time to retire to my room. So I curled up in bed with my flashlight and a book, started reading, and passed out somewhere in the middle of a sentance...
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
Reflection..
I took this morning for some quiet reflection upon myself. I realise that the life I live may not seem as boring as I had thought, but instead... I just don't see when something in my own life is extraordinary.
The other day I wrote about the random people I met on a long drive because of the impossible plane. Today I realised that this is just one of the things that seems so commonplace to me that I haven't actually thought about. For example... Within the past month, I have lit myself on fire (causing some pretty nasty burn marks), had some really fun times out with friends back home (a very extended lunch hour), Went to a Flogging Molly Concert, rebuilt several computers several times...
Looking at it, the list just goes on. I guess I view these things as every day things because something like it is always happening to me. (Yes... it's not the first time I've caught on fire.. this just happened to be the worst time)
Given reflection, it's good to have other people looking in at my life. Other people that I know care for me in one way or another, and sometimes, just give me that push that I need to see that I'm not as boring as I make myself out to be. And I know why I do it... I grew up with very low self-esteem. Anything I did, just never was anything that mattered. Until high school... I always stood out, the odd one among the crowd. I hated it... at the time. But looking back, as I have said many times, I am glad that I am what I was. I am happy that I made every decision I made, because that is why I am who I am today.
So take a chance, live that life you're uncertain of. You never know who it will make you tomorrow.
The other day I wrote about the random people I met on a long drive because of the impossible plane. Today I realised that this is just one of the things that seems so commonplace to me that I haven't actually thought about. For example... Within the past month, I have lit myself on fire (causing some pretty nasty burn marks), had some really fun times out with friends back home (a very extended lunch hour), Went to a Flogging Molly Concert, rebuilt several computers several times...
Looking at it, the list just goes on. I guess I view these things as every day things because something like it is always happening to me. (Yes... it's not the first time I've caught on fire.. this just happened to be the worst time)
Given reflection, it's good to have other people looking in at my life. Other people that I know care for me in one way or another, and sometimes, just give me that push that I need to see that I'm not as boring as I make myself out to be. And I know why I do it... I grew up with very low self-esteem. Anything I did, just never was anything that mattered. Until high school... I always stood out, the odd one among the crowd. I hated it... at the time. But looking back, as I have said many times, I am glad that I am what I was. I am happy that I made every decision I made, because that is why I am who I am today.
So take a chance, live that life you're uncertain of. You never know who it will make you tomorrow.
Monday, March 31, 2008
A long long long day...
So.. It's been very hectic for me... I'll start where it all started.
Sunday morning.. 5 a.m. I arrive at the airport and start check in for my 6 a.m. flight. I clear through security relativly quickly without any issues. Not a bad start. The plane is next to full when I ask at the counter, so I talk my way into a free upgrade to first class. Not a bad way to spend the next 4 hours in the air. It seems all is well, no trouble, no hassle. We take off and land on-time.. maybe just a couple of minutes off from schedule, but no big deal.
Then it happens... I step off the plane, start walking up the ramp into the airport at Fort Worth, TX. My phone rings... I thought it was slightly odd as I just had turned it on less then several minutes ago. I pick it up to find an automated voice on the other end of the line... Not a telemarketer... something worse... far far worse. American Airlines.. "This is an automated message.. blah blah blah... Your flight from Fort Worth, TX to Little Rock, Arkansas.. Has been cancled. You have been booked for a flight tommorow at 10:30 am."
Now.. If I weren't in a big rush this wouldn't have been bad. But as the fates decreed, I was in a rush. I had to be to Little Rock tonight. So I find my way to an agent and get on the wait list for a flight.. Not bad.. Number 4 on the list. So now I sit around for the next 2 hours as I wait to find out if I made it onto the flight.... I didn't... So I get onto another wait list... This one not so promising. By the time I even made it onto the wait list I had been at the airport over 6 hours... stressed. The next bad news comes.. The wait list for this flight is over 60 people long. Almost enough to fill another jet.
I give up...
Three other people standing there were in the same situation as I was.. We all had to be there tonight, and there was no way this was going to happen if we waited around. So we rent a car and drive the 5 hours to Little Rock. By the time we pull in it's after 10 p.m. local time. I'm stressed, worn out, agrivated.. and I still had to check in. I get to my room, it's about 10:3o. I'm starving.. My favorite chinese food place is closed already... So in desperation I call Papa Johns, which for some unknown reason was still open, and order a med pie with green peppers. It got there about 11:15.. I proceeded to scarf it down.. I inhaled it... Satisfied now, I went to sleep... didn't even unpack.
I wake up the next morning at about 6:30 a.m., about an hour after my alarm was set for. So I rushed to get up when I eventually dragged my tierd body out of bed. Jumped in the shower... and stood there. This was what I needed... exactly this. Scalding hot water pouring over me and relaxing me... I just wish I had more time to stand there. By the time I get out of the shower it's about 7:20. I scramble through my luggage for a full set of uniforms. Throw them on, and rush out to class, first day, 7:45 start time.
Class... More fun... paperwork. Nothing exciting, nothing at all. I did everything I could to not fall asleep. It was difficult. Class lets out finally at 4:30. I go back to my room, and did what I couldn't do this morning. I turned the shower up to scalding again, and stood there for the next 30 minutes. After drying myself off, I decided it's time to rent a car. So I call the rental place, for no one to pick up the phone after 5 minutes of constant ringing. So I take the shuttle to the airport. They're out of cars. I finally found one I liked at AVIS, a Pontiac G6. Still worn out from the night before, and the class today, I found my way out to dinner.
I ordered.. The food came.. I found out that I wasn't hungry after just a couple of bites. So I get some very light desert, a half of a slice of key-lime pie. Very slowly I found myself eating that. When I finished I sat there staring out the window for several minutes... what turned into probably about 30 minutes. Paid the bill, and left.
Now I find myself sitting here, looking at the suitcases that I haven't unpacked, and writing this... Stress relief... that's what this is for me tonight. A way to whine about my day without that high pitched voice that even I can't stand...
Now... I think I'm going to unpack part of the suitcase, and pass out.
Good night world, May the gods watch over me and you as we sleep tonight...
Sunday morning.. 5 a.m. I arrive at the airport and start check in for my 6 a.m. flight. I clear through security relativly quickly without any issues. Not a bad start. The plane is next to full when I ask at the counter, so I talk my way into a free upgrade to first class. Not a bad way to spend the next 4 hours in the air. It seems all is well, no trouble, no hassle. We take off and land on-time.. maybe just a couple of minutes off from schedule, but no big deal.
Then it happens... I step off the plane, start walking up the ramp into the airport at Fort Worth, TX. My phone rings... I thought it was slightly odd as I just had turned it on less then several minutes ago. I pick it up to find an automated voice on the other end of the line... Not a telemarketer... something worse... far far worse. American Airlines.. "This is an automated message.. blah blah blah... Your flight from Fort Worth, TX to Little Rock, Arkansas.. Has been cancled. You have been booked for a flight tommorow at 10:30 am."
Now.. If I weren't in a big rush this wouldn't have been bad. But as the fates decreed, I was in a rush. I had to be to Little Rock tonight. So I find my way to an agent and get on the wait list for a flight.. Not bad.. Number 4 on the list. So now I sit around for the next 2 hours as I wait to find out if I made it onto the flight.... I didn't... So I get onto another wait list... This one not so promising. By the time I even made it onto the wait list I had been at the airport over 6 hours... stressed. The next bad news comes.. The wait list for this flight is over 60 people long. Almost enough to fill another jet.
I give up...
Three other people standing there were in the same situation as I was.. We all had to be there tonight, and there was no way this was going to happen if we waited around. So we rent a car and drive the 5 hours to Little Rock. By the time we pull in it's after 10 p.m. local time. I'm stressed, worn out, agrivated.. and I still had to check in. I get to my room, it's about 10:3o. I'm starving.. My favorite chinese food place is closed already... So in desperation I call Papa Johns, which for some unknown reason was still open, and order a med pie with green peppers. It got there about 11:15.. I proceeded to scarf it down.. I inhaled it... Satisfied now, I went to sleep... didn't even unpack.
I wake up the next morning at about 6:30 a.m., about an hour after my alarm was set for. So I rushed to get up when I eventually dragged my tierd body out of bed. Jumped in the shower... and stood there. This was what I needed... exactly this. Scalding hot water pouring over me and relaxing me... I just wish I had more time to stand there. By the time I get out of the shower it's about 7:20. I scramble through my luggage for a full set of uniforms. Throw them on, and rush out to class, first day, 7:45 start time.
Class... More fun... paperwork. Nothing exciting, nothing at all. I did everything I could to not fall asleep. It was difficult. Class lets out finally at 4:30. I go back to my room, and did what I couldn't do this morning. I turned the shower up to scalding again, and stood there for the next 30 minutes. After drying myself off, I decided it's time to rent a car. So I call the rental place, for no one to pick up the phone after 5 minutes of constant ringing. So I take the shuttle to the airport. They're out of cars. I finally found one I liked at AVIS, a Pontiac G6. Still worn out from the night before, and the class today, I found my way out to dinner.
I ordered.. The food came.. I found out that I wasn't hungry after just a couple of bites. So I get some very light desert, a half of a slice of key-lime pie. Very slowly I found myself eating that. When I finished I sat there staring out the window for several minutes... what turned into probably about 30 minutes. Paid the bill, and left.
Now I find myself sitting here, looking at the suitcases that I haven't unpacked, and writing this... Stress relief... that's what this is for me tonight. A way to whine about my day without that high pitched voice that even I can't stand...
Now... I think I'm going to unpack part of the suitcase, and pass out.
Good night world, May the gods watch over me and you as we sleep tonight...
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