My usual self..

So it's mere hours (or less) before I should be passing out for bed so I can wake up in the morning to leave for the airport, which will then take me to Germany. And of course, what do I find myself doing in the last remaining minutes? Laundry, packing, sorting, packing, preparing...

It figures that with all the changes I've made over the years, the one habbit I have a hard time breaking is packing before I'm actually supposed to be leaving. So I'm making the list mentally... Clothes, uniforms, boots, suit, shoes, sneakers, laptop, Altar things, essentials (you know... the things you don't leave the bathroom after your shower without using), camera, GPS, memory cards, cd/dvds with all of the install I might need while there... And I just know that I'm forgetting something. I know of course that I will remember this something the moment the door on the plane shuts, and it will probably be critical. As it is now, I have to stop by work on the way to the airport to pick up those few things that I forgot there.

I'm sure I'll be bringing back plenty of pictures, maybe a couple of videos, and I know some excellent stories. As I said before, I'll try to do my best to keep up my posts here. Maybe I'll put up some pictures... We'll see how this goes. Now... it's time to finish packing...

Blessed Be all

Lost with me

I wander around these empty halls of my mind and see only memories lost with me. The life I've lead, the turns I've taken... I notice all I come with is memories of me. Several of you along the way have shared with me what I seem to be, unknown to what is being along. Lost in thought I wonder why all I have with me is memories of what used to be.
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Ok... So I'll be honest. I sat down at the computer completely unsure of what I was going to write. I stared at this blank page, and started typing at the time what seemed almost like completely random words. And what you see above is the result of my random mind.

I am glad of all those people that have been along for the ride of what seems to be my life, but also at the same time I wish several of the people that are part of my memories would be part of my future. Looking to the future now I have started to realise that I no longer want just meaningless friendships, single serving I believe was the term used in the famed movie of Fight Club... but then again I shouldn't be talking about that I guess....

An interesting night

So, I posted last night about how happy I was to have a connection back in my room. I admit, I wasn't in the best mood when I did so, but I was in a better mood then I was about to be.

I decided that I had enough of busy work, so I jumped on my messangers and threw in a movie on the TV. Everything was great, I was relaxed. Then I heard the storm rolling in... I love storms... This one was huge. Each strike hitting that I heard only raised my awareness of how large this one was... and I loved it. My smile grew larger as the storm went on... Until that strike.

One large boom... That's all it was. And then.. nothing, no power, no light. Trapped. Alone in my room. Thankfully I remember very well where I put everything, so I went to my bag, and grabbed my flashlight from it. Went to the hallway, and made sure that everyone else was alright. It turned out that I wasn't having the worst of nights, or atleast not as bad as the person trapped in the elevator. So I took the stairs down to the lobby and found the OIC, CPT Davis. The short search for the emergency release key for the elevators began. Back when I worked in the hospital I had taken time to learn the basics that are needed to pry open a locked door. So from floor to floor we went trying to find which elevator someone was actually in. After opening the doors on several floors we found that we missed the service elevator on the first floor. So we went back down, I popped the door, and let the somewhat shaken person out of the elevator.

Now with knowing everyone was safe, I went back to the hallways and talked with several people. Just had a good time enjoying other peoples companies while I couldn't do anything else. Shortly there after, almost midnight now, I decided it was time to retire to my room. So I curled up in bed with my flashlight and a book, started reading, and passed out somewhere in the middle of a sentance...

Reflection..

I took this morning for some quiet reflection upon myself. I realise that the life I live may not seem as boring as I had thought, but instead... I just don't see when something in my own life is extraordinary.

The other day I wrote about the random people I met on a long drive because of the impossible plane. Today I realised that this is just one of the things that seems so commonplace to me that I haven't actually thought about. For example... Within the past month, I have lit myself on fire (causing some pretty nasty burn marks), had some really fun times out with friends back home (a very extended lunch hour), Went to a Flogging Molly Concert, rebuilt several computers several times...

Looking at it, the list just goes on. I guess I view these things as every day things because something like it is always happening to me. (Yes... it's not the first time I've caught on fire.. this just happened to be the worst time)

Given reflection, it's good to have other people looking in at my life. Other people that I know care for me in one way or another, and sometimes, just give me that push that I need to see that I'm not as boring as I make myself out to be. And I know why I do it... I grew up with very low self-esteem. Anything I did, just never was anything that mattered. Until high school... I always stood out, the odd one among the crowd. I hated it... at the time. But looking back, as I have said many times, I am glad that I am what I was. I am happy that I made every decision I made, because that is why I am who I am today.

So take a chance, live that life you're uncertain of. You never know who it will make you tomorrow.